I wish

I wish I had a shoulder to cry on.

I wish I hadn't of been so put out and annoyed with my dog that I allowed her to stay outside most of the afternoon.

I wish I knew where Maggie was..

I wish I still had my dog snuggled underneath the covers to keep my feet warm.

I wish I knew where she was.

Saying it out loud only makes it true.

She's missing and I don't know where she is (hence the missing part).

I feel kind of bad for coming out with it.. but I just have to get it off my chest...

WOW. that title looks like I'm trying to say I'm "Coming out of the closet" or something like that. I'm not IN the closet.. I'm not gay!!!

ok now that that's cleared up. This sums up all of my past cryptic blog posts from the past couple of weeks/months.

The reason I feel kind of bad for documenting it is because the whole thing sounds a little petty to me, and I'm upset that I let it go this far as of right now.

But I'm sure I'll get over this whole thing learn to laugh at it and genuinely not care. Move on if you will.

Because SOMEONE wonderful is out there for me :D and even if I do have to wait to realize it/or find them it will all be worth it <3.

OH, and this was a letter I wrote to Emilee.. because she point-blank asked me how I felt about this person and I didn't want to lie to her anymore.

-------------------- *line break* --------------------------

Where do I even begin? I feel like I’ve been lying to you—I haven’t REALLY been lying to you.. I just feel like I have.

Once upon a time there was this girl… let’s call her… Amanda….

She used to have this.. for lack of a better word… crush on this guy… (let’s call him… Chris..). But ever ounce and fiber of her being protested these feelings.. She used to speak so highly against any of her friends even remotely liking this guy. She felt that this guy was band news and every time she got near him she felt she had to put her heart on lockdown and “danger alert” sirens went out.

But somehow this guys penetrated her iron bars and someone was able to silence the blaring alarms going off.

This guy would lead her on.. and finally Amanda stopped fighting the alarm and she was fairly at ease..

And then randomly this guy started flat-out ignoring her.. And Amanda was very confused.

Amanda’s heart was just in a heaping mess, she started berating herself. She constantly went over in her mind the fact that she saw this coming and that she tried to prevent such thing occurring. She tried to warn herself that this guy was good about putting on the charm. And she even saw him flirting with other girls.. She was just massively confused and frustrated.

So she convinced herself that he was overrated and that surely God had someone far better planned for her. And she stopped caring about what this guy thought of her, or what girls this guy was flirting with.

Untill the guy started flirting with one of her best friends. At first the red alerts sounded again. She thought to herself that it was all up to her to protect her friend from falling in the same exact trap she had. But then the two just looked so cute together, and he seemed to of changed. He seemed to of genuinely cared about her and they had actually done stuff together. So she stepped back and didn’t say anything to her best friend and decided to just let it pan out and offer to be there in whatever circumstance.

When her best friend was expressing her confusion towards this guy showing attention elsewhere and Amanda said she understood completely her feelings. She wasn’t lying.

And when her friend also expressed her confusion and frustration towards someone she used to like who decided to ignore her and then when the person decided they didn’t care the other person started paying attention again.

I also understand.

This isn’t to say that Amanda still has strong and passionate feelings towards the guy. Amanda is mostly confused and every Wednesday seems to be an immense struggle and fight of emotions.

This isn’t also to say that Amanda’s friend should feel bad about liking “Psychotic people.” Because Amanda COMPLETELY understands and couldn’t be happier for her friend if they were to be with each other and be happy.

Because ultimately Amanda just wants her friend to be happy and she’ll just figure things out on the fly.

So enough of this third person… I’m just really confused and frustrated with the whole situation. And yes, at one point I did like this person in that respect but now I’m just REALLY confused.. And if you like him.. all I can say is go for it.

Lafdhpothr;lfdjh;oafidh klfgdjnf,m.ads lxl/jn bfdfz

That was me letting out my frustration and emotion J

*sigh* <---- It seems like that is always my title..

I'm so confused right now.

He likes me, he likes me not, he likes me, he likes me not...

and then there's

I like him, I like him not, I like him, I like him not...

BLAHHHHHHH

but on another note, because I just want to shove that deep down inside and forget about it meanwhile never talking about it again, I'm finished with all of my TCC finals. PHEW. so glad I'm done with my history class. I mean I have the same teacher next semester, but I'm going to stay positive!!!

Who was I kidding? I can't shove it deep down, I'm nearly EXPLODING.. I need to let it out.

Somewhere.. anywhere.. preferably somewhere where I won't look like a lunatic!!

Sometimes I wish that God would just have that "ahhhh" moment, you know shine the golden lights on the "perfect" guy for me. No more waiting nonsense, I'm really impatient you know.

And I was always really stubborn that it couldn't possibly be someone I already know.. And I was always so hard and closed about actual dating. I don't know.

and when I started to picture something with someone.. and they were kind of leading me on... and then they just started ignoring me and started flirting with my best friend?

NOW I sound like an over-dramatic teenage girl. grr..

But then to make matters worse, once I've convinced myself that I absolutely don't like them.. they start paying attention to me again!!

Of course I don't have the guts to say anything.. And if he were to "be a man" and say something himself. Deep down inside I don't think I would ever be able to admit my true feelings. I've been thrown on one unpleasant roller-coaster ride and I'm tired of it!!

I'm tired of having to watch where I step to make sure I don't step on anyone's toes. Or to make sure I don't offend anyone. Or to make sure I don't make anyone upset. For once I want to be truly happy, and I want to be able to express my true happiness without having to worry about making someone else feel bad. Is that selfish of me?

I'm just so frustrated right now, and I don't know what to say or what to do..

and I feel so distant and detached from everyone.

I don't feel God anywhere near and I feel that this is my fault- that I've gotten to self absorbed and cold-hearted.

And I hate it!!!

And self-conciously it's like I believe "if i just had this-- a boyfriend perhaps--- then I would feel whole" but that is so wrong. I'm not THAT needy, and I've survived 16 years of my life so far without one so why suddenly am I such a typical teenage girl you see in movies?

This is all so frustrating!!

I don't want to feel this way!!

oh yeah.. All district try-outs were today... I made second chair... Dylan is first.. At least I beat Da'shon?

Yeah, well..

I feel left out, what else is new?

something I do really well:

Shove my emotions deep down inside and act like nothing is wrong.

I don't really have anything to say.

I don't really have anything that needs to be said right now..

Um..

I just finished reading the Shack? I really liked the book and it challenged my thinking in many ways which was really cool. It kind of gave me a different perspective, I dunno a reality I guess is what I'm trying to say?

I want to sit down and talk about it with someone who's read it. Like my parents.. or Janice.. See what they have to say about it.

It's about to get really busy.. Last History "test" next week (I just have this test and the final and then I'm done for the class *phew*)

One more English Essay and then the In-class Essay and I'll be done with my "year" of english. haha.. I'm taking another english class next semester..

OHH.. I worked at the fair yesterday and I had a BLAST!

I got to hang out with some people I don't get a chance to hang out with very much, and talk to some people I wouldn't ordinarily talk to. It was nice.

AND I saw a zebra and Kangaroo.. in person.. And an Alpaca. haha

And DJ and I did the trampoline things.. and Hannah, DJ, and I rode the ferris wheel. yay.

And we got a free sample of this Sham Wow dusting thing.. (it just looks like a piece of felt though lol)

I will definitely help at the fair next year :)

It's Okay Ida, you Can Rain on my Parade.

Ok, so I didn't blog last night. oops..

I had a good day yesterday.

I don't really feel like going into much detail other than I really enjoyed yesterday, and I REALLY LOVE my family. ahahahhaahahahaha.. it's one of those "you had to be there" type things though. so yeah..

I Hate Marching in Parades

woooooooooooo...

So today I played offertory in church, and that was all good. It's always nice to have the opportunity to share my piano playing beyond my family and piano teacher :).

And then the rest of the day went as followed:

I curled up in bed with the covers to my chin, flipping channels. Nothing was on TV so I went to sleep at 1:22, dirty dancing was on and I didn't want to watch it and I thought something else might come on the next hour that's the only reason I remember the distinct time.

My mom came into my room once to get my laundry but I continued to sleep. Then she came in again at 3:30 telling me that she was going to the bookstore, grocery store, and TCBY but I didn't have to get up right then.

At 4:30 she came in again and laughed at me for still sleeping.

I finally got up and put on more apropriate clothing (I don't think my Christmas tree pajamas would be all that flattering haha).

and so we went to the bookstore.. and then to TCBY.. (they had banana flavored yogurt today. My favorite flavor and they rarely EVER have it!)

and... then we watched Prince and Me: Holiday Honeymoon.

It was good for just a regular sappy TV movie/chic-flick haha

ummmmmmm and that was it..

yay marching band is officially over (practices at least.. technically)

and Hurricane Ida is supposed to hit on Wednesday (cross your fingers.. because that's the day of the veterans day parade..)

*hides face in shame*

I said I wouldn't let this happen. I vowed to myself that I would be good at keeping up with a blog/journal type thing this time.. And I failed.. I'M SORRY. (I don't really know who I'm apologizing to.. myself?)

But could it be, that the reason I haven't been good at keeping it up is due to the fact that my life is extremely busy around this time of the year.. and I was to busy actually living my life? eh?

Well now.

My math class got out really early today (I love when class gets out early) so I'm just killing time right now.. I'm really hungry and I think I'm going to go find an atlanta bread company so I can get some soup in a bread bowl. yum.

But I thought that I would try to eat lunch at a decent lunch eating time so I'm not going to leave the library just yet.

What has happened the past.. two.. months...

Well.. After homecoming the swine flue went around school.. and a lot of people were sick.. so that was fun (NOT).

YAY

Our football team absolutely STINKS this year, we play Leon tomorrow... yikes..

I got first chair.

I started to play my trumpet again, and Myron dropped his trumpet case on my trumpet and now the mouthpiece is stuck. hahaha

I just finished "a call to die".. I gave up facebook/youtube/blogging (meaning reading other people's blogs) basically I gave up social networking sites.

I just finished a series of six videos (one video each week) for church.. and ended on a bang. My first succesfully green screen job YES (I was kind of afraid that I would miserably fail.. because all of my green screen attempts have been just that.. attempts.. just me messing around.. but this was for real..)

UMMM...

well.. yeah.. I guess I'm going to leave the library now..

I could've obviously written copious amounts of blog entries for each one of my points.. and various other deep down amanda things.. but I think I'll just leave it at this..

I'm off to eat me some chili :).

PHEW.

So the end of the first week of school is quickly coming to a close. And I can already tell that I'm going to LOVE college... and honestly I wish I didn't have to even take spanish at High School.

I LOVVVEE my classes. (not a big fan of spanish.. but I mean the class takes no effort... and is all mindless to me anyway.. just saying)

Whoever said that AP classes prepare you for what college was going to be like was seriously disturbed.. Because from what I've experienced so far... English 101 is EASY PEASY... I mean, really, no tests.. No final exam... Essays on movies that are actually enjoyable to watch.. Essays or criminal Investigation shows (woop), Essays on the stereotypes of highschool students in movies and TV shows... I CAN WRITE THAT KIND OF ESSAY!!! I could write at LEAST 1,000 words on the high school stereotype one alone.. at least... I gripe about it all the time already anyway :D

But again.. I'm just taking General Education type classes right now..

I can also already tell that Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to be my favorite days. One class at TCC.. I mean I have to get up earlier those days, but then I'm done.. And I get to chill at Panera Bread and do homework and eat yummy pastries so I can use their internet... What's not to love about that?

I got a little lonely today in the car on the way to panera bread.. Because I am all by myself a lot now... no one is there in the car.. I don't really know anyone at school..

But it's cool, because it gives me a lot of "Amanda" time.. You know, a lot of time to just sit, drive, and think.. Which is nice..

I have also decided that rainy days are my favorite days. And here is my deep reason now:

Well, you see. I feel really comfy and relaxed when it's a steady drizzle outside. All of my defenses are let down (mostly). I don't care anymore what I look like, what my hair is doing, or even what clothes I'm wearing (to an extent.. I would LOVE a pair of rain boots :D and my jacket served as a pseudo-rain poncho.) No one else cares what you look like because they are either to absorbed in getting out of the rain, staying as dry as possible, or they also love the rain very much. (At least, that's what I figure.. I don't really care about what people think about me when it's raining.. to be honest.. which is nice..) It is also really calming... It puts me in that mood to want to curl up and read a book.. or actually be productive and do homework..

I don't know.. I just really love rainy days.. I wish we had days like today more often.. (Minus the end of the day.. and having marching practice inside.. But I won't even talk about that.. It would just ruin my very good positive blog post about how good my day had been)

*sigh*

I'm going to go to bed, and pray that God would send me another rainy day like today. :)

AKFHADFSGDFGAS;DFSA

I'm really frustrated right now, and as much as I love my friends sometimes I want to just wallow in my band mood and frustrations and have someone try to pull me out of it and say "oh Amanda just be flexible it will all work out". No it won't work out! It won't work out the way I had it planned! I had it planned all perfectly! I don't want someone telling me all of these things! If band weren't moved then I wouldn't HAVE to do all of this! So as much as I love all of you, Just let me get over it myself!

I'm just in a bad mood, sorry.

LALALALA

I feel that I've highly neglected this thing..

Tomorrow is the start of pre-season band camp. DUH DUH DUH. AKA, the official end of our summer and a temporary stop to life as we know it.

No exaggeration whatsoever. This week is the kind of "eat, sleep, and band practice" weeks.

*sigh*

It's like a huge speed bump. But that's ok.

I'm all prepared.. now I'm just lollygagging around the house just waiting until it's time to go to bed...

so... yup..

Band

It totally doesn't even matter in the long run whether I'm first chair or not. Or whether I get a bunch of solos to put me in the spot light. Or whether I even beat Katie at school.

I have two years left of band and I'm going to make the most of it, instead of stressing and wasting tears on what part of a piece of music I play. That's not the point.

The point is that I'm coming together with a bunch of amazing people, and we are able to put together and play and do amazing things together.

And it really doesn't matter what note I play while doing it. Just as long as I'm doing it.

And whenever I feel down about the whole ordeal.. I'll only just have to remember pre-MPA concert... the night we pretended that I was there all along... The night I realized that we're all in it together.. That was the night..

It was also the night I got a lot of people wanting to back me up by pushing someone in a hole.. But I told them that it wouldn't be needed.. hahaha..

LAZINESS

la-la-la

I just got back from an amazing mission trip

la-la-la

I gained a lot of new insights

la-la-la

I feel more peace

la-la-la

A lot of funny/entertaining things happened

la-la-la

God is good.

yup. I'm too tired right now to say any more.. eventually I will regain enough sleep to write a ten page report on the mission trip.. But right now I'm sitting in my room with my desk lamp on, and the rest of my lights out at 7:27 PM.. and each minute that trudges on makes me look more longingly at my bed.. I'm going to sleep!!!!!!!!!!

I really actually could write ten whole pages of actual substance on it if I had the energy to though.. just being honest...

Amanda-isms

There are a few things I don't enjoy doing at all..

Like:

Being forced to read something: I enjoy reading already, when someone makes me do it it's like that sucks all of the fun and pleasure out of it.

Packing to go somewhere: ARG, I hate that feeling of "I know I forgot something, what was it!?" Because no matter where your going, how long you'll be gone, or even if you HAVEN'T forgotten anything.. You always have that stupid nagging feeling in the back of your head. (I'm packing right now to go on a mission trip to go to Tennessee/To see DCI tomorrow *woot*)

Homework: Enough Said

Practicing Scales: I'd much rather practice an actual song.. practicing scales is so boring to me.

Trying to get my dog to come in at night: Because who wouldn't like to stand out on your back porch clapping and screaming your dogs name, and making kissing noises things *wow, that sounds really weird when it's put that way) just to have your dog come to you. When it's practically the middle of the night. (in the day I could care less if she comes to me, let her stay out there I don't care)

But not to be all Lazy.. There are also a few things that I enjoy doing a lot:

Spending time with my friends and family together: It's always a good time. Nothing can beat playing spades with Janice, my mom, and dad.. (and me and my dad WINNING). Or playing rock band with dad and daniel and janice.. And playing the drums until my arms are in pain. (yeah yeah)

Band Trips/football games/anything non-marching marathon practice related: You know, the times when you just spout out laughing uncontroleably for no good reason. And overall just having a REALLY good time.

Going on little day trips: Long trips are fun too. But every once and while it's fun to just break up a long boring week and just go to the beach for a day.. or just go do something different. You know, shake it up every once and a while.

There's a lot more.. But that was just mindless procrastination of going to bed.. So I suppose I'll go to bed now.

I remembered the purpose!!

It finally remembered why I came to this website! GO ME. ok.. don't go me.. but whatever..

WEDNESDAY NIGHT

So each wednesday in the summer our youth group has a dress-up night.. quiz.. and all of this competing fun jazz.. and usually it's like a little trivia quiz on what we learned that night at the end. First one who stands up and answers it correctly gets points for their grade.. and all that fun stuff..

Well last night instead of doing the usual Bible Butt (also know as Buff.. but we won't get into that) Quiz.. Each grade had to send people up front on stage to talk about what we've learned all summer.. And yeah.. Well I was the one sent up for 10th grade.. And you see.. I'm WAYYYYY more comfortable talking to a bunch of people behind a computer screen. Because you see when I'm talking/videoing behind a computer screen.. or typing to a bunch of people.. It's not as scary.. because usually I'm in the comfort of my own room, by myself, and usually I'm in my pajamas.. So I'm much more at ease..

But you see, the moment you stick me up on a stage it's like something triggers in my body that just makes me shake uncontrolably.. It's actually quite frustrating for me. Because it happens EVERYTIME I'm on a stage by myself.. band being the exception.. But that's different in a way.

Because mentally I'm not that nervous. Mentally I know I'm fine and I know that I won't make a complete and utter fool of myself.

But physically.. I don't know what it is.

This becomes increasingly frustrating and annoying at piano recitals. Mentally I know that I'll do just fine.. But physically my hands are shaking, and my legs are shaking.. Which kind of makes playing a little difficult...

So my thought is, is it so wrong to be more comfortable sitting in front of a computer screen with the possibility of talking to a thousand people (on youtube.. not on blogger.. haha.. I don't think people really know I have a blog.. or if they do they don't really care) and not even a remote sense of nerves. Than it is to be standing on a stage, holding that microphone, in front of a hundred plus people?

I do realize that sometimes this sense of not being nervous while making a video and posting it to youtube.. or even just carelessly saying something online.. Can also sometimes be a bad thing.. Like not thinking about/or realizing the effect that action can have on people. But if you do realize that.. Is it bad?

*SIGH*

that was just my random mumblings.

(oh, and btw I got our grade first place in that little thing last night. Which honestly I can't take to much credit for. Because literally I just wrote down basically everything we said upstairs.. and read it on stage more or less. haha.)

I'm still alive

God hasn't struck me down.. yet..

(wow, that sounds like the beginning of a really bad story. You know the kind where your like.. 'I've just done something horrible. And this is my nice way of starting out the story.' But I don't have a story like that.. So sorry to disappoint.)

Do do do do do.. what did I last talk about? Harry Potter? License? Yes, that was it.

umm.. nothing is really new on the home front home skillet slices (ok, I'm going to talk now. No matter how hard I try I could never be classified as a "cool cat" but I'm ok with that).

I just cleaned the whole downstairs.. minus daniels room.. the piano room.. and the laundry room.. (Ok.. so 3 out of 6.. not to bad. I really don't care what my piano room looks like. I love that room.. It's the room no one goes in or checks on. It's forgotten, it's like my little hide-out) Maybe the cleaning supply fumes were getting to me.. WOOOO..

Where was I going with this? I promise originally I did have a purpose in typing "blogger" into my address bar..

*thinks*

Well I've forgotten what that purpose was. But in news of today Osama Bin Laden's brother was killed. wooo.. I got my a debit card to get gas with. woo.. I turned in my parking application at high school. woooo... I ate lunch at this seafood place for the first time. wooo.. I played rockband country pack with my dad and brother. woo.. I played scrabble with my family on my phone. woo... I went to walmart. wooo..

Don't you wish you could've had that DELIGHTFUL day. I know that right now your just thinking "wow. She is so cool I want to spend every waking moment with her and just bask in her fun-ness so that maybe, just maybe it will rub off on me". Ok, so your really not thinking that. It's ok, because if you were thinking that EXACT thing.. truthfully I'd be just a little bit concerned.

UMMM.. *awkward silence* um.... *cricket cricket* I'm going to see DCI in Atlanta on Saturday.. WOO.. *cheers*

We kind of had to be a little last moment in actually buying the tickets just to play it safe with Daniel's surgery date and what not.. So I mean.. we don't have the WORLDS GREATEST SEATS.. but they're seats.. And it'll still be amazing!!

*Cricket cricket*

I'm going to Tennessee next week on a mission trip.. I get to teach 7 and 8 year old girls. WOO-HOO..

I'm really excited about that..

I'm going to go now.. this is going no where FAST.

OK BYE!

BALKFDJHGA

You know what one of my really big pet peeves is?

When I take a bunch of pictures somewhere. And I'm actually quite proud of my pictures, and I've done a lot of work with them. And someone starts talking to me purely for the purpose so that I would delete every single picture they are in.

Yes I understand both sides of the arguement "well it's a picture of them. And privacy. And bla bla" But it's not like I'm showing these pictures to each person I meet. These pictures are privated.. And you would have to make an effort to see them.

And then I hate even more when they say well "I look so ugly in it".

No you don't, now shut your face.

I'm sorry that every single picture can't look like you just came off the runway. But I think that's what makes the pictures even better. It's purely you. And believe it or not, I did filter through all of them.

GRR..

(btw, these are not by any stretch of the inappropriate pictures. I think I made it seem like they are. They're not.)

Can some people just get a sense of humor and learn how to laugh at themselves once in a while?

(I'm not normally this heartless. I promise. I'm just really frustrated right now... and this is my place to vent!)

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.. and license

I know this doesn't really matter in the long run.. But I went to see Harry Potter 6 yesterday.. And I had some big mixed feelings. I think I would've LOVED the movie if it weren't for the fact that I just finished re-reading the book. 

Yes, I loved the acting.. I loved the humor... It had perfect timing on ALL of the jokes... And everyone laughed in the right places.. And it WAS a good movie...

BUT

I just felt like it was missing some things. Like what about the battle at the end? There was no battle at the end.. Are they going to just completely leave out the whole part of Bill being bitten by fenrir Greyback? Are they going to leave out all of Bill and Fleur in the next movie? How will that work?

I just felt like they focused on Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny a little to much. When they didn't really build up hatred/confusion towards Snape. Or compassion towards Tonks and Lupin. And Lupin's childhood backstory? There won't be very much gut-wrenching compassion in the end of the seventh movie(s) because we aren't that attached to several of the characters.. the focus was just never put there at all.. 

The other main part I'm not as upset about, because I can kind of see where they might take it. And I see that it isn't really that horrible. But why didn't they have Kreacher in it? I wish that they had started it in the burrow with Harry's anticipation of "he's coming. He's not coming".

The Harry/Ginny kiss. Although I would've LOVED for there to be the original scene. I kind of liked how they did it. I realize that there's the whole issue of the diadem.. But I figure they had to of had a plan. I'm going to give them a little credit. 

I wish they would've put more scenes of Snape in. They didn't focus at all on how Snape had stepped in and taught Harry's favorite subject.. when he was Harry's teacher. I wish they would've at least put in some of Harry arguing with Dumbledore about Snape being good or bad. 

Another thing, which I figure they would be able to work in somehow, they didn't give any hints as to what the other horcruxes may be. 

In other un-Harry Potter-related-things. I got my license today!!! :D

and the first place I drove to was.... yupp.. none other than.. dollar tree. 

hahahahaha

my parents were constantly bugging me "do you really want dollar tree to be the first place you drive to. And that be what you remember the rest of your life". 

But whatever. 

Right after I went home and got my bathing suit and then went to Janice's house and swam. 

I have QUITE the tan line on my stomach.. it's a really funny tan line actually.. Because I was laying down on a float.. so it's literally just the strip on my stomach that's tanned. So as I turn around the stripe disapears. haha. 

and then the third place I drove to was to the church to pick Daniel up. (haha) quite the role-reversal! 

Atlanta Trip.. Legally Blonde the Musical...

So here it goes, all of those thoughts that have been swirling through my head:

I'm mad that I was disappointed with the musical.

My first issue: the person who played the role of Emmet. He played it differently than the original person (Christian Borle).

See the way he (DB bonds) played the character didn't make you fall in love with him. It didn't have you rooting for the underdog the whole time. Because he sort of made Emmet seem like an arrogant jerk. It reminded me of this guy I knew in middle school. And that certainly made me even less want to "fall in love" with the character. Even the way he said "doc" in my favorite song from the musical (chip on my shoulder). It was as if he was being condescending the whole play. Which I didn't like. But that really isn't as much criticism against the actor, I mean he had a nice voice and all. But *sigh*.

And now into the other issue (which had nothing to do with the play more the people around):

The first act the entire time there were these girls who sat behind us who were clearly drunk, they looked underage, and they talked THE WHOLE TIME! It was very agitating/frustrating.

So our whole little circle of people around them banded together and one of them told the ushers, who then told the higher-up people. And needless to say, we did not have that problem in the second act.

But now onto positive things.

The theater that the musical was in (Fox theater) was very impressive. And I was not expecting what I walked into at all. I had only been to two professional musicals before. And the theater those were in was nothing special. But this theater was something else.

First thing you see when you walk in is a ceiling that was simulated to look like the sky. I guess you could kind of relate it to Harry Potter, you know in the great hall where the ceiling acted like the sky? Well, there were clouds and stars moving the whole time. And that alone made a cool atmosphere.

And then the next thing you see, are all of these castle looking things. It literally looked like the set of Peter Pan. It was really cool.

The stage had a lot of cool architecture around it too.

But the next thing is most of the seats were in the balcony. The balcony was HUGE, it extended to about the fourth row on the floor. And we had great tickets.

And the orchestra "pit". Well it wasn't as much a pit as it was just on ground level with the rest of the seats on the ground. But the seats in the balcony were really the better tickets. So you were looking down on the stage. Which was different/cool.

The theater was really cool too.

So enough about the musical.

The next day my parents let me and Daniel sleep in, and then when we woke up. We went to eat at the "largest drive in restaurant in the world" (The Varsity), which quite honestly I didn't see the big deal about it.

And then we went down to the part of Atlanta where the aquarium, world of coke, and CNN world headquarters. Where we took a tour of the CNN center..

and then we walked around a while through the centennial olympic park.

And then we went to eat at some old friend's house. Which was fun.

And then today we went to an outlet mall and came home.

And that was the first leg of our Atlanta trip (haha, we're going back next weekend to see DCI :D....)

The past two days have been amazing :)

I feel like this day should be fully documented. Because after all "you only turn sixteen once" *in a mocking of my moms voice. haha*

But I'm going to rewind a bit and start from yesterday.

Yesterday Janice and I had a "movie marathon" and watched all of the Love Comes Softly movies.. (ok, so we only truthfully finished six yesterday, but close enough). It was a really enjoyable/memorable day. And we never (or at least I never) even thought about the whole church thing, and so it was overall just a pleasant day. Just like old times. It was HILARIOUS when the first guy died, Willie. It wasn't hilarious that he died because, I mean come on, they were my all-time favorite couple pairing in the whole series. And he was pretty cute.. but that's just me (I'm probably going to live to regret saying that). But it was hilarious because of Janice's reaction. She was MAD! *said with some sass*. She was so mad she threw her pillow at the wall. And I just reminded her how I felt when reading Ever After, and that it worked out. But BOY was it hard the first three movies not saying anything when I knew he was ultimately going to die.

We finished the first six movies and I suggested that maybe we should go to be (I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open at this point) she agreed that that was probably a good idea, but I told her first she had to watch the first two minutes of the next movie. HAHAH, I thought the rest of the pillows had to be thrown of course. Because yup, the next girls first husband died. Which honestly I wasn't as sad about, I wasn't to giddy-up with the pairing in the first place.

So she threw the pillows at the wall, and we went to bed.

And then we woke up around 10 (which is earlier than I've been waking up lately. haha, and a lot earlier considering I don't usually go to bed at 2:30.)

And then we watched the next two movies, ate some chocolate chip muffins that my mom made me (yummm). And then she went to check on her sister whom just had surgery to remove a cyst from her ear.

I basically just lounged around on the internet, played a little on the piano, and dozed off for a couple of minutes.

And then we went out to eat dinner at Macaroni Grill (my family and I plus Janice. She's practically apart of the family anyway :D)

Now a little bit of a side note, we all pretty much matched each other color of our shirt wise. My mom dad and brother matched better and me and Janice matched better.. but over all we were in the pink/red family. haha.

So we walk in and I swear we could've passed like the whole thing was completely staged for a movie, I'm not quite sure how we managed to stand in a perfect group standing thing, they could've taken a beautiful family portrait, that's the kind of position we were in. And ALL of the waiters were standing up front. And they were all commenting on how we looked like "the perfect family out of a TV show" and how we all matched and looked like family. And then they named off some TV show we resembled. I think it was called the cold family.. or something like that. To which my dad replies "let me guess, someone dies in that movie" and the waiter person says yes. And then my dear loving brother replies by pushing me out front as if signaling that they have chosen me the one to be killed.

But here's where my mom's hard efforts to get them to sing to me came into play. Literally ever chance she could get whenever a staff person was around to say something like "well she's the birthday girl" or "no we can't kill her, it's her birthday" or even just "happy birthday". And finally my dad saved me and told her we weren't idiots. And the waitress said they could sing to me. And she said that the person was a good opera singer. and yadda yadda yadda. So we ate, I was sang happy birthday by someone singing opera in italian. And we ate chocolate cake.

And so on the way back home, me being an idiot I was playing with the free book light that came with the snuggie I had gotten in Orlando. (yes I bought a snuggie.. I was cold)..

And I was clipping it on the handle of the bag that held our left overs. And well, the clip was being stubborn and not going over so I shoved it harder. and SLICE, yepp well it went over.. At the expense of slicing my thumb. WOO-HOO, nothing like bleeding on your birthday.. Good thing we had a roll of paper towels in the back :). I got the bleeding to stop, put a band-aid on it when we got home.. ALL BETTER. (Except for the fact that I'm pretty bummed that I won't get to play the piano for a little bit.. we'll see.)

And then we went home and ate more cake (cookie cake to be exact) and this time we had ice cream. I opened up presents (which honestly I didn't think I was getting any more from my parents, the car was a big present!) I got a lunch box (hahaha.. side story to that.. but not worth telling), another wallet like the one I already have because my mom thought mine was about to have to retire, and another wallet thing.. it's sort of like a small clutch... It's actually quite nifty. I think a lot of times I'll probably just use THAT as my wallet to hook to my keys.. because it holds more than money.. but is still small enough to not be a burden. (I hate carrying purses.)

And that was my day :). Tomorrow for sold out the dress up night is disney night, and I really had my heart set on dressing up as pinochio, but it doesn't look like that'll be happening/coming together. Not that it even matters really.

OH, and I set my drivers test appointment. Next Tuesday at 9:00 hopefully *cross your fingers* I'll have my drivers license!!!! FINALY!

!! ;( !!

And it basically starts all over again.

And I'm a stupid selfish brat who makes it such a big deal, when in comparison to other things this is SMALL.

Driving "lessons"

So today my dad gave me driving "lessons" to practice for my driving test in a little under two weeks (*woop woop* I FINALLY get my license).

And though I would love to say that this little shin-dig was nothing like they portray in movies and books, and overall just the cliche experience it can be. But boy was it.

There's just something about a teenage girl being behind the wheel with their dad or mom barking out orders in the front seat that just guarantees it to be a frustrating experience.

On more than one occasion this afternoon did I want to just get out of the car and just walk home.

For instance: we were practicing in the parking lot of the methodist church in our neighborhood, and my dad told me to leave the parking lot (at this point my mom was also in the car) and so then he tells me to turn on this street, but at the last second he tells me to make a u-turn. But then there is a car coming straight for me at that time, and I had to make that car wait because I was making this u-turn and my dad was barking out more commands just confusing me even more. And then so I finally see the church again and my dad tells me to drive home. Then I get even more frustrated because I was at the right street before I hooked a U-turn, and now I had to go the crazy way, to which my dad says "well your the one driving". !!! WHAT?! he's the one who told me to make the U-turn. ARG!

So let me finish that story re-enforcing that I really do love my parents a lot. Sometimes things can just be frustrated.. haha

:) Amanda

5 days until my sixteenth birthday :D and 12 days until I get my license (assuming that I pass the test and that Jesus doesn't come back before then. and yadda yadda. haha)

WOAH

WOAH NOW!

I haven't posted in 12 days? Someone should punish me, seriously.

So much could've happened in those 12 days, it would just be a huge hole of nothingness. You don't know what happened. You didn't even know if I died in that time (well actually, I don't think you would think I died.. because obviously you know me.. and blah blah blah)

So to be honest, absolutely nothing has really happened the past 12 days... and that's no exaggeration..

well, I mean some stuff has happened..

To start,

Last week I was at Daniel's orientation (BOOOO) The most boring thing EVER! But it's ok, because my parents and I weren't actually paying attention to most of the presentations. Instead we sat there and played scrabble on my phone. And then we skipped the afternoon sessions one day and walked aimlessly around the UCF campus, and were passed from one building to another in our pursuit of brochures of the film and digital media degrees. (we ended up with no more information than we had before) BUT I did learn that the film school only takes 30 people (AGG!). Needless to say I need to come up with a back-up plan if I were to not make the cut. But I'm not going to be negative nancy, I'm going to take the requirements and run with them. I'm going to work hard at it! And if God doesn't want me to be in the film school, he'll shut the doors. It's as simple as that. But I do need to pray about it still.

*sigh*

And then on July 4th I went to the beach with some other friends and people from church. And we swam and ate and saw a rather puny display of fireworks. But it was a really enjoyable day regardless. And I didn't get either burned or tan. Which is actually I suppose ok, but I was kind of holding out for a tan. But I guess lathering on SPF 70 guarantees no tan. haha

And then yesterday I went to the movies with Holly, which was nice. Holly and I haven't been the closest friends. We used to take her to school, but it was nice to spend time with her more and chillax and eat ice cream at TCBY.

I'm listening to pandora right now (my new obsession).

Apparently my "feel good and relaxing" style of music is:

something with a rock guitar feel, with harmonic voices, and major tonality, with subtle piano

that wasn't the exact wording, but close enough. haha

I like listening to popish kind of music when I'm just kinda chilling on the web..

And when I'm studying I like to listen to songs that have no lyrics, because lyrics distract me, so stuff like jazz with no words, or piano. But NOT band music. Because that distracts me even more, it's like I switch into band mode and I get to into it.

And when I'm in a somewhat hyper mood. I like listening to broadway music. or music from musicals. hahahahah

Vintage Amanda

http://dog-luver714.xanga.com/

hahaha.

the blog I regularly updated in 6th and seventh grade. Not as regularly in 8th.. and some freshman year...

It's funny to look back and read all of the entries.

Buckle your seatbelts. Amanda is going to rant again.

OH OH OH

so I was reading some of my old blog posts, you know counting how many grammatical errors I have and becoming to lazy to actually change them. When I came across me talking about how the new season of the secret life of the american teenager was coming on the next Monday. So I decided I would take the time now to rant about that show.

Yes I did watch the first episode of the new season.

No I will not be watching the next one, or the one after that, or the one after that if the show keeps going in this direction.

And here's why:

The show is not at all about all of the things teenagers deal with in life anymore. Not it's basically just about sex now. So why don't they just title it "the secret life of the american teenagers who have sex". Because that's basically what it is. I especially hated the direction they took Grace's character.

The truth of the matter is that, guess what ABC family, not all teenagers in America struggle with sex. And sex is not the "big talk of the school". You don't walk down the hallways and hear people talking about "well I'm ready for it" or "I'm on the pill now".

Not to say that sex isn't there at all. Yes, it is A struggle for American teenagers. But it's not the one and only struggle of American teenagers.

And call me naive but I don't think every single person in our school is having sex. I mean I'm not having sex. So that's one less person than everyone. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

This show is just turning into a failure. And it's about to crash and burn if it doesn't get pulled back together.

Especially after the first episode they gave us to the new season.

At the end of each episode they always say stuff like "100 percent preventable" yadda yadda. But it's like the show is condoning it.

And I know ABC family can't possibly be running out of things teens struggle with.

They haven't even begun to tackle say drugs, or drinking, or even worse drinking and driving. And I'd say that that ranks right up there with sex.

And what about suicide? That's a pretty big one now-a-days.

What about even less dramatic stuff, I mean I realize that this is hollywood we're talking about and hollywood has to make everything dramatic and intense, but I'd say getting into college or getting a scholarship now is a big stresser lately.

So correct me if I'm wrong on this theory.

I'm just tired of it all I guess.

But on a lighter note, I did read take two and thought it was a pretty good book. It just makes me want to read the next book more. And I did watch "Make it or break it" and thought that the show is off to a good start.

Ok, I'm stepping off of my soap box now.

just some thoughts

I had an incredible friend in the past year, who taught me so much and I don't think she even knows it.

She had a huge influence on me and made me realize that there was a difference in just talking the talk and living what you talk out.

Because she lived it out.

And I probably will never see her again.

And it's not because she died, but because she moved back to where she used to live.

One year.

It just doesn't seem long enough.

And I'm extremely sad.

Because I never got to tell her goodbye in person.

I didn't know that on the last day of officer work days when we were all extremely giddy and awestruck with the tornado that touched down across the street, to worry about actually saying goodbye to each other.

That that would be the last time I would probably ever see her in person.

This is sad news.

I only had a weeks warning.

And that week shouldn't even count.

Because she went out of town that week.

So I basically only had a days warning.

I just wished I could have told her all of this in person.

I wish we could be better friends.

I still remember, in fact I don't think I'll ever forget, the night we ate at macaronni grill together.

And we shared our "secrets" to each other.

"Secrets" I don't really tell everyone.

And she told me some of her "secrets".

And I knew that then.

Yes right then as I was eating pasta.

That it was a start to a great friendship.

But God didn't have that in his big plan for her and I, I suppose.

It never really worked out like what I had all planned out in my head.

And we never really became the "best buddies".

Which makes me sad.

Because I think we could've become better friends.

And now it's too late.

:(

But I suppose there is good that comes of this,

And there are lessons to be learned.

Guys, don't take your:

friends

parents

pets

teachers

circumstances

for granted.

Because not every day is a guaranteed right.

And not every circumstance is guaranteed to come out the way you had planned.

In the words of a very wise man:

"live every day like it was your last. But prepare and build for the future like you had thousands of days left"

I like that quote..

So friends,

Please learn from me.

Don't put yourself through the same thing.

Love ya'

--- Amanda

Procrastination

My parents are just now realizing I'm a really bad procrastinator....

But that's ok because I always get it done.. Just not in the most timely of matters some times (meaning like maybe finishing at 11 or midnight. I mean I'm not THAT extreme am I?)

I think the important thing is that I always manage to finish it for it's deadline, and that's all that matters right?

(I'm of course referencing video making montage things)

Inspiration

I love getting sudden huge bursts of inspiration that you know just had to of come from God.

You know when your sitting there and your at a complete loss of what your doing with say your life, or your career, or for me just my whole interest in video making.

And you know it just came from God because then it just quickly all begins working together..

Boom Boom Boom.

And you honestly just feel amazing, because I don't know, it just feels right. It feels like this is what you are meant to be doing.. and it just all works out and you've gained a whole new perspective on your true intentions and motives..

And beyond that I don't really know how to explain the feeling any further.

Amanda: A history

I've just had a sudden burst of inspiration to blog about my history and more specifically how I got into video making. 

So here we go, buckle your seatbelts.. And we're off!!

I guess you could say my video making started when I was just a nerdy little girl who wanted her bed time changed. Which for a normal kid, protesting a change in bed time is usually normal.. But I was never a normal kid. I was always the kid who announced when she was going to bed, always early than any planned bed time that my parents or any baby sitter would force on me, I would announce that I was tired and that was that. No one ever had to force me to go to bed, I think when I was this age I was even caught saying that I would never ever be one of those people who enjoyed staying up late. (haha, though here I am.. ten years later writing a blog post at 11:00 funny how things change.)

But I don't know what it was, when I was 10 years old I decided that a 9:00 "bed time" just would not work for me any longer. Now my parents are not altogether strict by any stretch of the imagination. So simply asking my parents if they would move my bedtime up 30 minutes would suffice just fine. But no, I had to show my nerdyness. And what would any other child do when they want there bed time changed but make a power point presentation. Or at least, I suppose that was my thought process at the time. 

I remember spending a long time on this power point presentation, and I distinctly remember giving the presentation to my parents. I think I even added music, pictures, transitions... The whole nine yards.

They laughed, and yes, the raised my bed time. 

But no, that was not the end of that. In the same year I had been endlessly begging for a dog. My parents excuse when I would begin begging was always that "we didn't have a fence". So then I changed my begging tactics and began begging for a fence. My Christmas wish list that year in fact was:

1) A fence

2) A dog to put in the fence

3) DDR

Yes, I was quite a well-rounded child. 

So began my dog obsession. I made yet another power point presentation, with well thought out arguments and points on why they should allow me to have a dog. 

This time the presentation didn't work out quite as well as I planned it to. I didn't end up with a dog, only a compromise that come the end of my fifth grade year they would allow me to start volunteering at the humane society-- which is a complete other story in its own self because probably six months before this time I was terrified of dogs.

After becoming quite obsessed with dogs I decided I wanted to make a dog picture slideshow, using the only computer program I knew how to use that might remotely work for the purpose I had in mind- Microsoft Powerpoint. 

When my dad saw what I was working on he showed me another program that was "really cool, and would work a lot better for what I was trying to do." Which was Windows Movie Maker. 

If anyone of you have ever used Windows Movie Maker, you know how much of a pain it can be. It freezes whenever it feels like it, and it just likes to mess with your mind and your projects.

So my first video was a big web of frustration to be honest, because Movie Maker would just randomly crash, or it would manipulate my pictures and make them very short. 

I finished this video, which was a slideshow of dog pictures set to the song 'you've got a friend in me' from Toy Story, oh about 5 times. But each time I would open the video after I finished it Movie maker would make each clip's length very short. And after about the sixth time I had enough and to this day that video remains unfinished.

After this video making experience I had a bit of a reprieve in actual video making. And about the only techie thing I did was hit the space bar during worship at church for the big screens. I grew to be extremely proud of my job. My dad and I would sit up there, and he would click for the pastor's sermon and help me if I got lost, and I would click for the songs. 

And then we moved to Florida and I lost my "space bar clicking for songs job" because someone already had that position filled. 

The first year I lived in Florida was the year I discovered youtube. It was like a whole new world was being opened to me. More specifically I discovered the youtube account JKLproductions. I watched their videos constantly each time a new one came out. And then when I visited my best friend from where I used to live I introduced her to JKLproductions and we thought "hey, why don't we do what they are doing. It would be fun!" 

So we did, and we started a youtube account called LLAMAmovies. We would film random silly skits or ideas that we came up with, and then I would sit there and edit them using WMV. And when I went back home to Florida I introduced my friends to the idea. And we made another youtube account called SHARKSmovies. 

From there I started making  montage type videos that weren't altogether that spectacular. But I guess my dad saw something in the making and showed our youth pastor, and he became interested and had me making various videos. And then I became more and more interested in videos and I got a Mac desktop for christmas and starting using imovie (with by the way is SOO much better than movie maker). And then my movie making got better and I was asked to make a DNOW promo along with my SHARKS friends.. So we did.. And then I made a camp video which OB used.. And then I decided to just randomly take it upon myself to make a video for each day of VBS.. And then it just kind of exploded (my video making that is). I was asked to help edit a big moms in touch promotional video, the previous video maker person who was hired to make youth videos was replaced by me.. And now I just get requested a lot to make a lot of videos.. And it's just REALLY AWESOME. 

I think I'm really interested in doing more video making in the future.. I may even end up doing this as my career.. That is, if that's what God wants me to do. 

Who knows, the sky is the limit.

Why hello there friends

I wish I could just post a video here of me being random crazy.. and my weird sadness that I feel for no apparent reason.. 

And no one would see it but you and I.. 

Because no one cares to come over to this neck of the internet and watch and read whatever is on my mind.. 

If people did start to care I might be even a little concerned.. They would get to know a whole new layer of me that I don't share with a lot of people.. I think if I did share this layer with everyone I know, they may be a little overwhelmed.. 

I mean.. this is like my diary..

I mean, I know some stuff would be typical.. because I'm just a teenage girl.. I'm not some COMPLETE alien.. 

But some of me isn't typical..

and wow, this has just turned into a long useless ramble.. 

I almost even went into how much of a habitual creature I was.. but some friends on facebook distracted me.. You better be glad :). 

I think I will go now.. 

I feel bad for saying it.. but today was almost a waste of a day.. What was the point of it? 

A much needed update.

So I haven’t written a blog post in what, a bajillion years? Ok well, in two weeks would be the precise time. But who needs or cares about precision anyway?

I am currently sitting on our back porch deck thing with my dad and Maggie (the dog, duh). It is way to hot and humid for any sane person to desire sitting out here, but it’s the only quiet place. We have family at our house… And Justin, the smallest of the cousins that are here, had been coming in and out of my room to share pictures he had drawn of me being hit in the face with a pie, or overall him just being silly.

I figured I would write this blog going from semi-carefree and laid back, and I would then segway into “serious” stuff.

This past weekend (Sunday and Monday) my family went to the beach in Destin, everyone except for Daniel that is because he had to work, and that was loads of fun. We obviously went to the beach, but we also went to the discount mall :).

And then guess what, I also got a car :D.

It’s a royal blue 2005 ford escape. It’s pretty awesome. My parents surprised me with it when I got home from camp. And then on Monday morning it wouldn’t start. :/. But no worries, the battery just died and so we replaced it this morning. All is swell now.

Yesterday we went to see UP in 3D. And I have decided that never again will I opt for the 3D version of a movie. I mean, yes, the glasses were very snazzy and all.. But I don’t know what about it triggered this, but I just felt so sick during the movie. And I obtained this HORRIBLE headache during the movie.. which lasted the rest of the afternoon and night.

But it was a really good movie, it tackled a lot of deep hard issues for a cartoon though, haha.

And yes, like the true rebel I am (HAH! Yeah, whatever), I did NOT recycle my 3D glasses, I kept than. So :-p. TAKE THAT!

Now I’m going to segway into last week, which was camp.

Camp was really amazing this year. I’m not sure exactly what made this year different, other than the obvious fact that our church was running it, but camp just felt Different in a good way. I had never felt this way with any other camp. I’ve run through my head many different possible reasons for this. Maybe it’s because I’ve matured and it’s my age and outlook on life now.. But I just felt different.. closer… I don’t know exactly how to describe it.

But one thing that I had been thinking about a lot before camp was my life (wow, really Amanda?) And more specificily the whole “I’m halfway done with highschool” syndrome. I kept on thinking “what have I done with it? What do I have to show for it?”

I felt that it was time for me to make a difference in band and more specifically my section. I just didn’t know HOW to make this said difference.. I still don’t know exactly but I just have a better understanding that however God will be in full control.

It was kind of weird/cool. Because on the first night I told Janice that I wanted to talk to her about something later because I didn’t know quite how to put together my thoughts and I knew she could help me string them together. And that very night, after I said this to Janice, the message was on EXACTLY what I had been thinking. About having the power in Christ to change the world and your school basically. And making an impact.

I could go on for ages about camp, but I’m not going to…

There was one other thing, I still need to follow up on it as well.

I sort of pushed/convinced/ordered someone to go to camp this year. Haha, I thought that if one person could make an impact, that certainly to people could make a bigger impact. And I sure had no clue what I was doing. And in the process of convincing them to go.. I sort of went into my long schpeel about everything that I had been thinking. But I didn’t want to freak this person out… And I just ended up terribly confusing them.. But they went.. And on the second night they re-dedicated their life to Christ.. and I was sooooo excited for them… I just need to follow up on what I sort of got into with them before camp.. because they asked me what I meant on the way to camp and I told them that I couldn’t explain it to them then (because it was that night that I was going to talk to Janice) but that I would explain it to them later, that I was fairly certain they would be able to understand it better after camp.. But I have yet to follow-up and actually have the conversation with them..

So when I do, I’ll let you know…

 

Well the sun is going down now.. so I’m going to end this one..

I promise to make more frequent updates.

Time to count fireflies.

-Amanda

WOOT WOOT I just remembered that the next Karen Kingsbury book comes out next week, along with the movie My Sisters Keeper, and the new show on ABC family.. and another season of secret life (which I’m not sure if I’m going to watch the new season or not.. The commercials worry me a little bit..)

Full recount of the past week

So I realize that while yes I did post a blog entry twice last week.. I never really talked about what was going on in my days... And my days were pretty eventful.

So I bring you this, a full recount of my week.. starting on:

Monday:

This was when I posted my first blog this week.. And I actually did talk about what happened that day. I dusted the tops of the band lockers... and inside of them.. and mopped the floors.

But what I didn't say is that I want to seriously hurt whoever picked out the locker area's tiles. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

"hmm.. yes... let's get the tiles that no matter how extensively you mop them.. They always get dirty!! Yes. I'll buy them now!"

*smack*. But that's pretty much all I have to add for Monday.

Tuesday:

On Tuesday all officers were required to wear Lincoln-esque shirts... You know so that freshman could clearly see who were officers and such.

And because I was wearing my lincoln band shirt.. Both at the gas station and at the place I ate lunch I was brought into a conversation with the cashier and manager on how I was in band... So that was quite interesting..

Tuesday (man I completely lost my train of thought.. because I got up and did something) was the day that I posted the other blog. (I think that's where I was going... but I want to go back a little)

So. Seeing as there was only one french horn freshman Mr. Kelly (our band director) made me go help the trumpet players because they only had one person helping them.

Now let me get one thing straight: Mellophones are A LOT heavier than trumpets..

And since I was the model.. I had to be precise of how I was giving the example.. And there were times were the person would just kind of forget I was there... While I was standing at attention.. I was probably only called to "at ease" twice that whole hour.. And I was sore.

But it's ok. Becuase after that I went to lunch with my family. And then went back and designed our band shirts.. and messed around the rest of the afternoon with no shoes on (refer to wipe out story on last blog entry). I was getting kind of frustrated because I was EXHAUSTED and my ride was messing around doing nothing in particular and I wanted to go home badly. But it all worked out because since we were one of the last people there the drumline section mom lady gave us posicles (yummy).

So that was tuesday.

Hah, Wednesday:

Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday.. You stupid day.

Wednesday was the day I only had literally five minutes to get ready and be out the door.. Because I didn't know I was being picked up at 8:05 and I had set my alarm to wake me up at 8:00.. no joke..

But at least on Wednesday Emily let me use her trumpet to model with :).

Wednesday my ride left me at lunch time... And I was stranded at school in the pouring rain until he came back and dropped me off at McDonalds... Where I was again stranded because Janice didn't know which McDonalds I was talking about..

She found me though.. And I forever owe my life to her because she's the BOMB.

and then we watched Nancy Drew.. I went home feeling AWFUL. I had a horrible headache.. took some tyenol.. slept for about 30 minutes.. and then woke up feeling worse.. and then I went to church.. So that was Wednesday

Thursday:

HAHAHAHAHAHA... thursday...

So, to start.. The weather man person forecasted us to have an 80 percent chance of rain.

But it hadn't rained so far and we went outside hoping to get things done. We got done with what we needed to accomplish outside.. and the weather was still holding up... in fact it was actually kind of sunny (the talk of the weather is important.. it's not just ramblings.. you'll see). So Mr. Kelly broke us off into sections to prepare our freshman for the *insert dramatic music* "Freshman drill down". (Which is kind of like simon says except more intense). We were all helping them with last minute preparations (Our freshman Emily was a sure fire to win By the way.). When it started raining.. So we went under the awning until Mr. Kelly told us to go inside and start our music sectionals.. with the hopes that it would let up later and we could do the drill down. So we all go to our separate rooms where I proceeded to be lazy and sit in the rolly chair and just roll all over the empty room and look at the emergency plan sheet thing.. because it was basically the only thing in the room. Katie then called me a retarded because I would never need to know what to do if a tornado hit.

We then went to full music rehersal and Mr. Kelly turned on the show from my freshman year because we played Rhapsody in Blue that year.. and we're also sort of playing it this year.. Near the end of the show, the power goes out. And when the power goes out in the band room.. IT'S SCARY.. about a minute later, the emergency lights came on.. And we just went on practicing our music thinking nothing of it.. About 30 minutes later the power came back on and we just kept playing..

At the end of rehersal someone in pit raises their hands.. saying:

"Um, I have a statement Mr. Kelly. The reason the power just went out is because A tornado just hit Apalachee elementary school" (Apalachee elementary school is literally right across from our parking lot.)

At first I thought she was kidding.. until I went outside.. To see for myself.. And a tornado really did hit the school.. In my dads words "the evidence is indisputable".

The weather services never saw any tornadic formations on their radars.. But they later classified it as an F zero. Which is winds around 70 mph.

Which is extremely weird and creepy.. Because there we were sitting in the band room.. probably about.. oh 300 yards away.. Completely oblivious that anything was going on..

That tornado was so close...

I took some pictures of the damage.. But I'm to lazy to post them now.. I'll post them later I suppose...

And today is Friday.. So that was my week.. In a nutshell..

I leave for camp in three days!!!!

-Amanda

I'm incredibly Happy

I'm incredibly happy right now, though the happy rush has slowly faded back to my body yelling at me

"I'm exhausted!! Let me lay down!!! I want to sleep!!!"

But no body, I will not let your negative aches bring down my happiness.

So lately if you haven't noticed by the negative state of my blog entries, I was going through a bit of a rough patch in life.

And now that I look back at this rough patch, I see that the rough patch was worthwile and that it was all in good purpose. I learned a lot, and I feel that I also learned how to depend on God a whole lot more.

But I'm not going to lie and say "now that I look back at that rough patch, I was such a wimp I can't believe I let it grab me. It wasn't that rough."

It was still rough, even from this side of the fence.

But I'm out of that rough patch and moving on ahead..

Please reader of this blog. (or me in the future.. though I hope I have learned my lesson once).

I'm going to try to give you worth wile advice.

I know that it may be all incredible fun skipping down your newly mopped/waxed school hallways in just your socks. And cutting tight corners..

Until you completely wipe out and land on your bottom. And then it's not so fun.

I now have a scraped up knee... And a bruise that hurts REALLY bad... on my butt... so it's like you can't sit down properly.. because it hurts...

HAH! so.. I'm not saying not to skip down hallways. I love skipping.. It's all in good fun.. But maybe you should wear shoes.. I'm just saying..

In other news it's really weird being an "upperclassmen" now.. I was just starting to really feel like a sophmore and now I'm a Junior!? WHAT!?

I still FEEL like a freshman.. I still FEEL like we should be marching Overture to Candide..

But I'm not... Half of my high school "career" is already over.. And what have I done with it?!

So I helped work on rejuvinating our band shirts.. I'll keep you updated.. I don't want to say to much right now.. Because it's not all set in stone or anything.. It's kind of subjective at this point..

But it's pretty coolio. In my opinion...

FINE!

I'm going to go to bed.. But I really want to watch the Nanny again... And it comes on at 11... Why can't it come on at 10?!

I really like the show "The Nanny"

OH OH OH

and they're making a new season of Gilmore Girls.. Which should be really cool, because I completely HATED the ending to what we thought would be the entire existence of the whole show.. And it's coming on ABC... instead of CW... If I understand correct.. which is cool...

lalalalalalalala

ok, that's all.. I should go to sleep..

K BYE!

-amanda

BAH!!! I'm a sheep!!!

BAHHHH..

I'm so exhausted that I'm turning delirious.

My eyelids are drooping shut as if they weighed 100 pounds.

If I could just close my eyes for one little second...

NO! must not close eyes, must write this blog entry!

I was just told by my mom that my dog was ready for bed, and that I should be too.

BUT NO. I can't be ready to go to bed, I must type.

TYPE LIKE A FIEND AMANDA!

ok.

So the reason that I'm forcing out this blog entry is because I feel like I have completely abandoned this poor blog.

But that's completely untrue. Because the last time you think I posted was May 26th (if you want to count that as a decent blog. I think it's a semi-decent blog. It accurately showed what I was feeling at that time.).. But looks can be decieving because I did write a blog entry since then.. you just can't see it. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

ok, enough of that.

So school is now over, and Officer work days have begun for band.

I have succesfully STILL forgotten to bring my math book to school.. but hopefully I will remember that tomorrow when I am still deliriously tired begging for energy!!!

Today my job was to clean the lockers.

Simple enough task you think. BUT IT'S NOT!!!!

We probably literally "had the dirtiest job" hehe.

But we had our advantages.. I mean it's not every day you get to climb on top of the band lockers :).

But seriously it was incredibly dusty. I don't know how to describe how dusty. But not an inch of me is exaggerating.

There was probably at LEAST an inch layer of dust. Plus the huge dust bunnies begging to take over the world that is our band room.

We sort of disturbed the presence of this small army and foiled their plans.. But in doing so, dust was now collectively everywhere in the band room. It was like there was a haze of dust in the band room that you could clearly see. It was disgusting.

Sneezes all around.

And then three of us got to clean inside of the band lockers. ( woo-hoo *sarcastic*)

We've decided that there should be some new rules:

-NO STICKERS.

I know I know, stickers are fun and all. They can be all colorful and add pizaz. But they have never tried to get off the sticker residue clearly!!!

-NO DRINKS IN LOCKERS (or modified as: you spill it, you clean it up.)

ewww, there were several lockers where it was just completely covered in a layer of brown

stickie stuff... that was fun to clean...

But that's really all I have to say. I mean it wasn't THAT awful...

It's not like I was dealing with annoying people or people who just made me want to SCREAM!!! .. there was a fair share of that going around.. just not around us...

"grumble grumble grumble"

I find it hard to deal with people like that.. I just want to smack them and say "SHUT UP.. Suck it up or leave.. We don't need your negativity"

But I realize that sometimes I get into the grumbling mood..

I now give you (that is anyone now reading this blog) full permission to smack me (please don't leave a bruise).. If I get into one of these moods...

BUT (yes there are strings attached) You have to have read this and say the word "tyranasaurus rex!!"

SO HA!

That is pretty much it...

I made good grades on my exams... and la-de-da........

Next week is camp!! I'm so excited!!

..

If this blog post was in the form of a facebook status it would look somthing like this:

"Amanda Thornton is having a hard time"

and that pretty much sums it up.

But I don't have the guts to actually put that as my facebook status.. I don't want to face the answers to people's questions.

Um, hi there. School is almost over!!

So, It is memorial day weekend. And I feel that this weekend is a bit of a waste. Don't get me wrong, I love any excuse to get off from school. But really? Getting off the first day of the last week of school? I'd rather just get out of school early! You know what I mean? I just want to get it all over with. 

SOOO. I went to the dentist on Thursday to get a cavity filled. In which obviously they had to pull out that huge needle to stick me with which numbs half of your mouth. It was the weirdest feeling I have ever felt. 

The overall process of the cavity filling didn't hurt, obviously since I couldn't feel anything, but the needle part. See, the dentist guy I had must be kind of new and doesn't know how to properly give one a shot. When you are giving someone a shot, you would think that the person would try their best to distract the patient from what they are doing. Like for instance, telling a joke or just engaging in conversation. But no, my dentist had to draw my attention to what he was doing, not only did he do that but he was painfully slow in sticking me. All the while he was saying "please don't hate me" over and over again. I wanted to tell him that I didn't hate him and to just get over with it. But obviously I couldn't due to the fact that he was sticking me with a rather large needle. 

Eating while half of your mouth is also quite a strange ordeal. Due to the fact that on half of your tongue you can taste and feel the food or beverage, but on the other half you can't. But you know it's there!!

And then after that I had the "get aquainted rehersal" for band. Which was really fun, I just couldn't really play. 

In other news.

The weather here lately has been REALLY strange.

For one it has been pretty chilly especially seeing as it is the end of may. On Monday it was in the 60's. 

And then it'll just sporadically rain and storm and hail and the wind has been really strong.

It's just been really weird.

I'm at my grandparents house right now, and all is going quite swell. 

Monday I have no plans other than studying (*no enthusiasm* woo-hoo). And then Tuesday I have my chemistry exam and the rest of my classes. Wednesday I have no exams, therefore I have no school :). Thursday I have my spanish exam (easy-peasy) starting at 10:30 and that's over at 12:30.. or maybe it's 12? And then Friday I have my math and english exam. AND THEN SUMMER!!! oh yeah, and on Thursday I also have my appointment to sign up for my classes at TCC for next year :).

that's it for now.

-Amanda

Well Hi There

Well hi there. So we had our concert last night and it was really good. But extremely hot. *huge sigh*. I knew this would be an exhausting night, I was prepared. I knew it was going to be hot, but I suppose I wasn't prepared enough.. because.... I collapsed. JUST KIDDING. but no really, it was really hot. And before the concert you couldn't escape the heat. You would go outside but it was HOTTER outside.. hot and humid... Inside my bell was so wet and slippery, that's how much just my hand was sweating.

But enough of me being a whiney person and complaining about heat. I know, suck it up. :p.

The concert was really good, everyone played fantastically.. And the audience really liked Stars and Stripes.. (hehe) 8 piccolos, who would've thought?

I don't like keeping secrets or surprises. Don't get me wrong, I CAN keep a secret or a surprise. It's just very hard and excruciating for me. I like to talk alot to my parents and best friends. And I was nearly bursting with talking about the drama of finding 8 piccolos, or randomly bursting out with "GE bonus points!!!!!!".. Or talking about helping Chris fold the flag...

needless to say, it was hard.

And I had somewhat blown the secret even before I knew it was a secret.. Well, technically Michael blew the secret because he was all "Mr. Kelly told me the concert program" and he told me all of them. And I told my parents... But that was before we even got the music for it. And when we didn't get the music for it for a long time, I just assumed we weren't playing it. And then we got the music and were told "shhh it's a surprise" basically. So I just hoped that my parents made the same original assumption I did.

yadda yadda yadda.

So yesterday I got to catch up with old friends, and I'm sad that I ever lost touch with all of them.

(I'm going to make up a lousy excuse for this, are you ready for it?)

Each time I would see they were on Facebook, I'd always feel awkward about possibly starting up a conversation because I felt "well they moved on from this High school." or "They moved away they must have forgotten about me" or "Well we haven't talked in ages, what would they think"

But I'm swallowing that excuse (what? I need better analogies) and never using it again ok?

I'M READY FOR SUMMER.

One more week, and then exam week. But who's counting? *looks around sheepishly* Ok, EVERYONE is counting. (haha)

And my exam week will be slackerish. Because I have no pressure on any of my exams. And I'm only taking four. Which one of those exams is in Spanish. And I've maintained a 100 percent average all year, I think that's grounds for exemption don't you? But no, it isn't. HEY I HAVE AN IDEA! you know how some teachers have the whole incentive of doing well on the test by the whole "I'll replace your lowest test grade with your exam grade if your exam grade is higher." Well what if we switched it, and made it fair. Something like "I'll replace your exam grade with your lowest test grade" ? That would work for me. I can live with a 98 on the exam. hahaha..
I never talk in that class though, so I haven't built the personality in that class to suggest this.. But hey.. I wouldn't have to go to school at all on wednesday and thursday that way!!!

I guess I should leave it at that, and write more later. Even though I'm bored to tears in photography and am helping people with their math.

Have a fantastic day!

-Amanda

A couple of movies I'm looking forward to seeing this summer: UP (I think it comes out May 29), My Sisters Keeper (June 26), Harry Potter (July 15... a day after my 16th b-day :D)

HI

I don't really have anything useful to say, I just feel like blogging and updating the world about my life. 

I have managed to get over 22 bites on my body. 12 of those bites are on my left leg alone. 

IT ITCHES SOOO BAD..

I think it's because I was stupid enough to lay on the palettes of sod that I helped my parents lay friday afternoon/night. 

Along with being bitten so many times, I was incredibly sore on saturday.. My thighs are a little sore still, but not to bad.

We had band banquet Saturday, and that was spectacular :). 

And we have our spring concert Thursday.. It's going to be a long night, but hopefully a good one.. So I'll update again later at the end of this week, and maybe I'll have more substance.

-amanda

HANNAH's story

One day you were walking down the sidewalk when you slipped on a banana peel and fell into the huge piece of glass that two people were conveiniately carrying right when you fell. And the glass caused you to bleed so much that you died of blood loss.
the end.

JUST KIDDING. I'll think of one, just give me some time.

Part 5... I think...

The next day Katie got out of the hospital, she was excited at first but then the reality of being all alone presented itself again. The french horn section had left that morning, they all had things they needed to do, and her parents had come back for the day but had to leave the next morning.

She was right where she started, only this time she had a huge gash on her forehead a broken arm and leg, couldn't play the french horn, and standing for any period of time was so much pain it wasn't even worth it.

Her parents were concerned that she would just be stranded on her bed, for she had no roomate, and that it would be best if she went back to Tallahassee for a while.

But Katie refused to go home, Juliard had become her life.

So to console her parents a little Katie requested an electric wheel chair. So she could zoom to places for a while and not have to worry about staying bed ridden.

So Katie took her electric wheel chair for a spin and discovered that she should have been run over sooner because the wheel chair was just to much fun to pass up.

The next day her parents left and Katie was left on her own. Katie e-mailed her director and asked if she could sit in rehersal the next day. And he was more than willing to grant her the permission. (Mr. Kelly played favorites. And since you had him in highschool you were one of his favorites).

So the next day you hobbled on over to your chair and set out to the music building. But on the way there Adam drove out beside you.

He was going to just leave you because he was that upset, but he couldn't bear to let a tragedy like had just taken place to happen again.

So he asked her if she needed a ride, she would've declined but it looked like it was about to rain outside.

So Adam parked beside the street and put Katie's wheel chair in the bed of his truck, and then helped Katie into the front seat.

The drive was quiet and awkward until they were stopped at a red light and Adam just couldn't hold it in anymore.

He asked Katie about her boyfriend, the one who came to visit.

To which she responded laughing hysterically. Because he honestly thought Julian was her boyfriend.

Adam was confused with her reaction and asked her to explain. So she told him that Julian was certainly not her boyfriend and that he was in her french horn section and that he came to visit when the rest of the people from her section came to visit.

Adam was pleasantly relieved and silently beat himself up for jumping to conclusions.

The rest of the ride was filled with small talk and then they went to rehersal and Adam made funny faces at Katie every spare moment he could (Adam wasn't good at concentrating and being serious when you were around :p).

After rehersal Adam asked if you wanted to go eat somewhere and you accepted, it's not like you had anything else to do.

And then this story has to end sometime. So two years later you and Adam got married and then 3 years after that you had Tony. You moved to Sandiego because you had a job offer to be a middle school band director there and Adam also had an offer to become a paramedic. It was the perfect opportunity. 1 year after moving to Sandiego you had quintuplets.

And you all lived pretty happily ever after.

Tuesday

So I'm getting to the point in my Tuesday afternoon where I'm just sitting all alone in my dad's office behind his desk. The tally of people who have come looking for him has gone up to three. I'm always greeted the same way "You're not Jerry" along with any other witty comment they find to accompany it. A few chuckles, some more small talk and I'm left exactly the way I was before. 

I've tried many things to keep me occupied. 

I've tried teaching myself how to play chess, but somehow the computer ALWAYS beats me (I don't know how to play chess, so that may be why). But it's weird how the computer beats me, it'll have one piece left and it'll still win. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!

I've turned into a creeper and have read random friends facebook profiles and have scoured my page two times reading new status updates. I have even chatted with a couple friends. 

I logged on to blogger and wrote some more of the story I've been writing about Katie.

I even logged onto youtube and watched a video.

My mom just reached the point of texting me and asking if she needed to come pick me up. But I don't know what to tell her. 

WHERE ARE YOU DAD!? 

(that was my only real purpose for this blog. I just wanted to fluff it up, make it seem longer and make it seem like it had no substance. It was all a lie! This blog entry had no substance. But that's ok, because you read it anyway.)

Katie part 4

Katie was so surprised. She never thought the whole french horn section would ever be in the same room together, Mr. Kelly had even showed up for the event because he even thought that this french horn section was the coolest french horn section he's ever had and far more superior to any other section.

Amanda, Kat, and Chris even brought their stop mutes and mouth pieces for the occasion. Mr. Kelly put up with it only because he knew it would make Katie happy. (Haha, he put up with the stop mutes not you. silly. That statement did NOT deserve a slap.)

They buzzed the song "if all the raindrops were lemon drops and something oh what a rain that would be..".

Then later the group left for a little while because the nurse said that she needed to rest and ordinarily there was a rule against large groups of people in a hospital room. Katie seemed a little upset that she would once again be left alone so they left Julian with her. Who could stay in a room with Julian and manage to stay sad? 

Julian had aged over the few years. He was much taller than when she first met him, and when he says the "I'm going to try out for the football team" it isn't as unbelievable; therefore it isn't as funny.

Adam decided that there was no possible way he could stay away from Katie today, he wanted the chance to explain why he suddenly dropped off the face of the earth. 

But before reaching the room he heard laughter. He hadn't ever heard Katie laugh before, the sound was foreign to him. But mixed with her laughter was a deeper-pitched laughter. He tried to remember what Katie's dad had told him before he left. He said he was going to be back on Friday, and today was still Wednesday. Maybe he decided to surprise her, he thought. 

But when he walked into Katie's room boy did he get a surprise. 

She had a boyfriend and she never told him! Not that it would've ever slipped in naturally to the conversation. It wasn't like he ever asked her if she did or not. He just kind of assumed she didn't. Stupid assumption. 

But here it was now, plainly laid out in front of him. 

Adam was devastated. His feelings for Katie were stronger than he ever thought they became. 

Adam stammered through his pitiful excuse for coming and was just about to leave when Julian asked what in the world he was carrying. 

That was when Adam realized he was still carrying the ugly giraffe. He told them that he forgot he had it and it was supposed to be a giraffe and that it was the best the gift shop offered and then abruptly told Katie by and to feel better and then left. 

Adam was hardly paying attention to the road and his hands were clenched to the steering wheel. 

To make his dissapointments worse he was so upset that he completely messed up his solo. He played it all right, he just played it ten measures early. And then he completely missed the last beat of the last song. He doesn't even know if he was playing in tune, all of his thoughts were focused on Katie. 

Julian asked Katie who that was and Katie explained that he was in her band and that he was a witness to the accident. 

Julian then proceeded to make fun of the way Adam talked up until the time that he was also kicked out of the hospital room by the doctor. 

The doctor had great news for Katie, she would be released the next day with her very own pair of crutches and a bottle of pain medication. He gave her a long speech on taking it easy for a while and he also gave her the list of things she could and couldn't do and when she would have to come back for a check up on her leg, arm, and head. 

Katie was hardly paying attention though because she was so excited.